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Why “No” is My New “Yes” for 2016

Why “No” is My New “Yes” for 2016

OK, so I know the title of this post sounds a little controversial, like I’m trying to blur the lines of consent or something, but don’t worry, I’m not. I’m not trying to say that “no” means “yes”; but this year, I hope that “no” will show up as much in my vocabulary as “yes” does now.

I am a Yes Woman. Saying yes comes easily to me – whether it’s wanting to try something new, making sure I don’t miss an opportunity, not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, or plain ol’ FOMO, if I’m free, then it’s a yes from me. I would say as a result, I have a pretty awesome life filled with friends, family and activities that I’m rarely, if ever, bored, or find myself lacking of something to do.

Over the past few months, however, I’ve been learning the hard way that saying yes to everything also means feeling like I’m always on the edge of burning out, or stuck in situations that I actually don’t want to be in. “Yes” has become so automatic that I have stopped honouring what I really want.

Case in point – ever since I got married last July, I jumped right back into training hard in Muay Thai in September in hopes of fighting again. I’ve been doing probably about a competition or two a year since 2010, and aside from a few novice continuous tournaments, I’ve never won a fight. I was really bummed out when I couldn’t get matched up for a fight in all of 2015. I was at the gym earlier this week when my trainer came up and asked me, “Do you want to fight in the States?” It was a tournament this coming June that I would probably have to train really hard for, as there would be multiple fights in the 4-day tournament. I said I would check my calendar.

Immediately after the conversation, I thought to myself, “Why did I even consider it?” I had just set my goals for the year a few days prior, and my plan was to hopefully fight once or twice more in the first quarter of the year, then hang up the gloves and focus more on my business (that means you!) and possibly starting a family. I didn’t want to be training or fighting until June! I should’ve just said no.

Great story, Vincci, but what does this have to do with nutrition and eating?

I know I’m not the only Yes Woman out there. While for me, the problem with being unable to say “no” to others means that I often find I’m stealing time away from doing what I really want, for you, it might mean allowing your partner to bring home chips and ice cream when you’d rather not have that temptation in your house; it might mean you’re going out for beer and wings with your buddies even though it makes you feel gross the next day; or it might mean that you’re always eating on the run because your schedule is so busy you don’t have time to plan and prepare healthy meals.

Does this sound like you? If so, here’s a little challenge to try:

The next time someone asks you to do something, resist the automatic urge to say yes. Pause. If possible and if you need, say “Can I get back to you on that?”

Now, take the time to check in with yourself – is this something I really want? How does this fit in with my goals for the day? The week? The month? The quarter? The year? What would happen if I say no? And once you’ve decided, get back to the other person with your answer. Of course, not everything is going to need such an in-depth analysis. But the more you spend time practicing this, the more you can be sure that the answer you are giving is the right answer for you, and over time, the real yes or no will come a lot more easily.

Do you say yes more than you say no, or is it the other way around? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Better yet, let’s work on this together – with one of my Supercharged New Year packages, we can be partners in saying “no” to all the clutter in your life to make room to reach your very best!

2 Comments

  • Casey Berglund on Jan 08, 2016 Reply

    Yeah, my lady! This is SO NECESSARY!! Here’s to say NO. Because when you do, you make room for HELL YES!

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