10 Ways to Respond to Diet Talk at Your Next Holiday Gathering
Family gatherings, especially those centred around food, can be a minefield when it comes to diet talk and body comments. While your relatives may be “well-meaning,” at best these comments are unhelpful, and at worst can send you down a shame spiral and toward restrictive eating behaviours that you have been working so hard to move away from.
Depending on family/relationship dynamics, your personality, capacity, etc, some of these 10 responses below may resonate more than others. You may need to experiment to see what works for you. Most importantly, just the fact that you are trying to respond differently to a situation is a big step, even if it doesn't "work out" exactly the way that you hope.
10 Ways to Respond to Diet Talk and Body Comments at the Holiday Dinner Table
1. Don’t Engage
Say: Nothing, or “Oh, hi Auntie! I’m sorry I didn’t notice you there.”
2. Change the Subject
Say: “Let’s not talk about me, what’s new with you? Are you still in that book club?”
3. Be Direct
Say: “I’m not OK with talking about the way that I look. I just want to enjoy the celebration.” (Optional: Leave the room.)
4. Be Humourous
Say: “Why? Are you planning to eat me?” or “Shhh, not so loud, or the turkey will get jealous!”
5. Be Weird
Say: “Gobble, gobble! Oh no, it’s starting!” And strut around the room like a turkey
6. Be Awkward
Say: “Wow, it sounds like you’re really focused on my body. That’s a little weird.”
7. Be Accepting
Say: “Thanks, I happen to like the way I look. Turkeys are cool.”
8. Be Open
Say: “I think you’re trying to say I look like I’ve gained weight, and you’re right. I’ve been in recovery from my disordered eating.”
9. Be Informative
Say: “Actually, I’ve been trying something called ‘intuitive eating.’ Have you heard of it?”
10. Have an Ally
If possible, find out who else at the event is “on the same page.” They might be able to respond on your behalf, help you come up with a response, or at least give knowing glances when these comments come up. If that’s not possible, talk to a trusted friend or provider afterward as a way to debrief and decompress.