We are just over a month away from Christmas, and already I’ve noticed that some of my client sessions have shifted to what I call “holiday talk” – panic and fear around managing the mountains of baking, multiple holiday events, and of course, the big family dinner.

To be honest, it pains me a little that many of the articles and blogs that are out there this time of year talk about how to “survive” a season that’s supposedly about happiness and joy. I, too, was one of those people who claimed that replacing butter with applesauce in your Christmas cookies or celebrating the season without food should be part of your holiday survival toolkit.

While these tips mean well and can be helpful, the unintended consequence is that they can make some people feel guilty about celebrating the holidays the way that most normally do – baking and eating buttery, sugary cookies from recipes that have been passed down many generations, or indulging in a hearty family meal (plus a few drinks, of course!)

So, this year, I’m boiling my advice down to a single tip.

Set an Intention

Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel this holiday season?”

Happy? Joyful? Merry? Grateful? Calm? Peaceful? Relaxed? (Had to flip through a few greeting cards there for inspiration ?)

Use that intention to guide you throughout the holiday season – check in with yourself regularly and ask whether what you’re doing, thinking or eating is helping you move toward that intention, pulling away from it, or simply neutral. Will eating this one rum ball bring me joy? What if I ate three? The whole platter?

Challenge yourself to think of different ways to get closer to your intention, perhaps outside of your usual customs and celebrations. I also invite you to be curious, and experiment with how different things actually make you feel, instead of simply assuming how they might make you feel – you might be surprised!

You may want to choose a single intention that you carry for the entire holiday season, or you may find that as the days and weeks pass, that this intention changes. Alternatively, some find it helpful to purposefully set a different intention for each occasion or event that comes up. For example, feeling patient and generous while shopping for gifts, thoughtful and kind while writing cards, and peaceful at the dinner table.

My intention this holiday season is to feel relaxed and grateful. How about you? Let’s stay accountable to each other in the comments below.