We often hear stories of how a new diagnosis or health scare sparks a complete change toward a “healthy” lifestyle. Yet there are so many more (often untold) stories of people for whom this is not the case—managing a chronic condition can be overwhelming, and for some, even how they received the diagnosis can feel paralyzing.

Unfortunately, because of the way that our healthcare system is set up, doctors are often in a rush and don’t fully have the time to explain diagnoses to patients, let alone sit with some of the difficult emotions that they are often experiencing. As a private practice dietitian, I have the luxury of spending more time with my clients, and here’s what I’ve noticed is missing in conversations when someone is diagnosed with a chronic illness:

1. How Someone Learns of Their Diagnosis

This is one of the first questions that I ask when someone shares with me that they have been newly diagnosed with a condition. For some people, a new diagnosis can be a relief—it’s finally getting answers after years of living with unexplained symptoms. For others, it might be something that they have prepared for—perhaps it’s a hereditary condition, or the progression of a condition that they already have. For others still, the experience can be downright traumatic—the diagnosis might have come after a major medical event, or it could’ve been a surprise when everything had always felt fine.

Regardless of the diagnosis experience itself, grief is often an emotion that comes up, whether it’s grieving the loss of a “healthy” body, or a lifestyle without taking medications or undergoing certain treatments. However, that grief is often not named or recognized in the rush to get treatments going, making the experience of having a new diagnosis even more overwhelming for some.

2. Reassuring Them That It’s Not “Their Fault”

While virtually all chronic conditions don’t have a singular cause, as a society we have created narratives around how our habits can cause poor health:

“I can feel my arteries clogging just looking at this dish.”

“This dessert is a one-way ticket to diabetes.”

Even for someone who has a fairly good relationship with food and body, it can be hard not to get stuck in the shame of “I did this to myself.” This, in turn, often leads to one of two outcomes:

1. The person remains stuck in their shame, which can make managing the chronic condition more difficult.

2. The shame works as a motivator initially, but is wrapped up in the belief of “undoing wrongs,” promoting a negative relationship with oneself.

3. How New Diagnoses Bring Relationships with Food to the Forefront

In many cases, new diagnoses can mean changes in the way that a person eats. This can be particularly triggering for those who have an existing difficult relationship with food. Even in conditions where nutrition doesn’t play a significant role in symptom management, having or managing a chronic condition can affect a person’s ability to access, prepare, and eat food.

All this to say, if receiving a new diagnosis has not been the transformative experience that some “success stories” make it out to be, you are not alone. Naming and working through some of these missing parts can be important steps in helping you better manage/live with your chronic condition.

If you’re looking for support in this, I invite you to book a free 20-minute Appetizer Call with me and we can chat about how we can potentially work together toward your nutrition- and health-related goals.